What they say about the Wolf Whale
This post is based on a beautiful drawing made by Evlyn M (link to her Patreon).
There are many stories about the wolf whale. Who can say which are true? (Roll 1D12)
1: It is a filter feeder, but what it filters is truth. That is why it avoids the haunts of humans. All our omissions and half-lies are a bastard to get out of its baleen hair.
2: The wolf whale’s song is so beautiful that only those with broken hearts can stand to hear it.
(If this is true the listeners with whole hearts must roll a save or lose 1D4 Wisdom and gain the same amount in Charisma).
3: It is bigger than wolf and whale. Bigger than some cities even. Lazy-eyed monkeys live on its back. They eat fleas and weave elaborate wigs from the wolf whale’s hair.
4: The wolf whale is the child of the goddess Nyx. As such it is the spoiled younger sibling of the Fates, of Nemesis and Friendship. At night it sings to them and is rewarded with silvery treats and sugar jewelry.
5: It once swallowed ten nightmares from the Crone Empress’ stables by mistake. Now it runs faster than ill tidings. If you can administer a remedy fort heartburn you’ll win a loyal friend.
6: There’s no wolf whale. Some people got drunk on bad turnip wine down at the docks and made up a story.
7: In the cold months the wolf whale retires to the Foothills of Cornucopia. It returns in spring, shedding honey-bread and seedless grapes where-ever it goes.
8: The wolf whale is being pursued by the walking city Schildkröte-66. The city’s lady-mayor claims it ate one of her wives.
9: All learned people know that the wolf whale is the god of all monkfish. They sing beautiful chants in its honor which turn seaweed into gold, but only when they think themselves alone.
10: Families of wolf whales leap through canopies, sifting through small wildlife with their baleen. One has swallowed a gem-parrot that had escaped from the Purple Sultan’s aviary. That parrot has overheard many a court secret and conspiracy!
11: It has come to eat us all! Make amends! Pray hard!
12: The wolf whale is the only relative of an Antipodean beast called the platypus. The great Prester John has a kennel full of these creatures. He feeds them stale bread and reads them scripture. He forgives them their evil nature. What does this have to do with the wolf whale? Ay attention! They’re related.
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| Used with permission. |
There are many stories about the wolf whale. Who can say which are true? (Roll 1D12)
1: It is a filter feeder, but what it filters is truth. That is why it avoids the haunts of humans. All our omissions and half-lies are a bastard to get out of its baleen hair.
2: The wolf whale’s song is so beautiful that only those with broken hearts can stand to hear it.
(If this is true the listeners with whole hearts must roll a save or lose 1D4 Wisdom and gain the same amount in Charisma).
3: It is bigger than wolf and whale. Bigger than some cities even. Lazy-eyed monkeys live on its back. They eat fleas and weave elaborate wigs from the wolf whale’s hair.
4: The wolf whale is the child of the goddess Nyx. As such it is the spoiled younger sibling of the Fates, of Nemesis and Friendship. At night it sings to them and is rewarded with silvery treats and sugar jewelry.
5: It once swallowed ten nightmares from the Crone Empress’ stables by mistake. Now it runs faster than ill tidings. If you can administer a remedy fort heartburn you’ll win a loyal friend.
6: There’s no wolf whale. Some people got drunk on bad turnip wine down at the docks and made up a story.
7: In the cold months the wolf whale retires to the Foothills of Cornucopia. It returns in spring, shedding honey-bread and seedless grapes where-ever it goes.
8: The wolf whale is being pursued by the walking city Schildkröte-66. The city’s lady-mayor claims it ate one of her wives.
9: All learned people know that the wolf whale is the god of all monkfish. They sing beautiful chants in its honor which turn seaweed into gold, but only when they think themselves alone.
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| "Gloo- o-oriaaaa in excelsis Dee-eoo!" |
10: Families of wolf whales leap through canopies, sifting through small wildlife with their baleen. One has swallowed a gem-parrot that had escaped from the Purple Sultan’s aviary. That parrot has overheard many a court secret and conspiracy!
11: It has come to eat us all! Make amends! Pray hard!
12: The wolf whale is the only relative of an Antipodean beast called the platypus. The great Prester John has a kennel full of these creatures. He feeds them stale bread and reads them scripture. He forgives them their evil nature. What does this have to do with the wolf whale? Ay attention! They’re related.
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I would roll, but I fear rolling a 6 too much. It would be unbearable.
ReplyDeleteWorry not, it might not be true. :-)
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